Photo: Ales Krivec
What a gorgeous day! We were hurrying to get in the car and head out to our granddaughter’s volleyball game. It seemed like I had been running all day. Once we were on the road, my mind began to slow down and the business of the day seemed to fade. The bright colors of the fall leaves began to catch my attention and I found myself smiling as I took a deep breath and just relaxed. I thought...life is good.
Then it hit me...this is October... Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It was 2 years ago this month that I walked out of the doctor’s office...sat in my car and just stared out the window; the reality of my diagnosis still not quite seeming real. I drove home that day feeling numb inside.
As I walked in the door...the phone rang...it was the doctor’s office wanting to schedule a surgery date. I couldn't breathe...I suddenly felt panic rising up inside. It was more than I could handle at that moment. I remember shaking...fighting back tears and saying, "I'm sorry, but I just can't do this right now." I wanted to run, but I could barely walk to the living room.
I sat on the couch and tried to make sense out of this. My primary doctor had said I would just need a very tiny spot removed and I'd be good as new by the weekend, but this surgeon was suggesting I consider a double mastectomy. I could barely hear her as she kept talking about radiation treatments, surgeries and recovery time. My world was crashing around me...would my life ever be the same again?
The answer was 'No'.
After a year of surgeries and countless visits to the surgeon’s office...I thought the nightmare was over, but I was given a routine blood test that showed the possibility of cancer in another place in my body. I had to wait 4 weeks to retake the test and those results were even more concerning, so I was given a PET/CT scan from my brain to my knees. Telling my children that I needed the scan was extremely difficult, because I didn't want them to be afraid, but God kept us all in such peace.
Thank God...the results showed I was cancer free! Sometimes it's hard to understand why we have to go through something like this, but I do know that God is with us and He fills us with His peace.
Jesus said, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."
May you find comfort in knowing Jesus is close and He always brings peace with Him.